Belly at Large: No, I Won't Hold It Against Britney

Hello humans,

Wow, yours truly is exhausted! Since la mamarazzi went to Vietnam, I've been so emo. To cheer myself up, I decided to read some Naruto. So far, I'm at volume 27. I think the whole story was based on my young life as a kitten. After all, I'm so fierce and handsome. Am I right or am I right?

I stayed up all night reading Naruto :)

And then, guess what? Britney's new music video "Hold It Against Me" was released yesterday. I waited and waited to take a crack at it but then I fell asleep again. It's so hard out there for a cat who reads Naruto, yo! But la mamarazzi, being a tiger mom that she is, had to tweet about it. The woman wanted my opinion, for Heaven's sake!

Normally, I don't do this kind of thing. I am a cat, not a consultant. And I <3 la Britney. But as a cat, I'm also curious. It's my nature and I can't ignore new things. So I went online and took a look at the vid. If you haven't watched it already, I embedded it for you. See, humans, I do love you and I do care about you. Although it's so hard to type without opposable thumbs.



You want to hear what I think? Jump, humans, jump!

First of all, I'm Team Britney all the way, y'all. It's so hard to believe Brit-Brit has been around for 11 years already. "Baby One More Time" still puts a bounce in my steps. I've browsed Twitter extensively for the last 24 hours and there are mixed reviews of "Hold It Against Me." It's hard to hate la Brit-Brit. She's so pretty and precious at the same time. I almost forgot The Dark Age, aka the Blackout album. But "Gimme More" is so addictive, though.

But again, this is about "Hold It Against Me." With my lack of opposable thumbs, it's going to be HIAM from now on.

My short and final answer is: No, I won't hold it against Britney. And let me tell you why:

1. Home girl has a new perfume coming out

Wanna smell like Britney? Buy Radiance
and Curious
and Fantasy
and Hidden Fantasy
and Midnight Fantasy
and Circus Fantasy
and Believe
Yes, buy them!

 Why? Because she has children that she needs to feed! Them Cheetos don't come for free! Which is why I don't hold it against her for these activities.

2. She likes Make Up For Ever, so what?

Product endorsement, Schmoduct endorsement

You know she looks pretty and you want to know the stuff she used.
RIGHT? *nod heads*

 After doing some research, my suspects go to:

• Foundation: MUFE HD foundation
• Lipstick: Rouge Artiste Intense in Matte Bright Red (the red lips look) and a (maybe) combination of Rouge Artiste Intense Satin Bright Pink and Salmon Pink Shimmer Super Lipgloss
• Eyes: Aqua Cream waterproof cream color in Taupe (the thing in the pot), Aqua Cream Liner in Matte Black, and Color Liner in Marine Blue, and a pair of Très Vichy eyelashes

3. Brit-Brit hearts Sony. What's the big deal?

Some people said Brit Brit didn't do any product placements. Maybe they missed this shot and I don't blame them. It was only 1/10 of a second and her wrist kinda covered the brand. But then, later on...

This thing was in yo face!
Personally, I prefer a big Mac screen but la mamarazzi's HP is pretty good, too!

As the video progressed, I realized: maybe la Britney is politically confused. I mean, look at this:

The battle of red and blue. Are we in the middle of another presidential election campaign?
And why did the Republican Britney kicked the crap out of the Democratic Britney?
I don't understand. This is music. Britney is not supposed to be political *scratch head with paw*

And why did the Republican Britney landed on top of the Democratic Britney?
Also, why did the Democratic Britney look like Lady Gaga in a dress that did cover her woo hoo?
What is going on? Britney, you confused Belly!

 But I kept on watching and I saw White Britney. What the meow, Brit-Brit? Make up your mind already! What kind of political affiliation are you in?

White Britney in a dress that looked like a long version of what Madonna wore in "Like a Virgin."
Whatever it is, that dress is expensive and I hope those spray paints are washable. Otherwise, yours truly would have a hissy fit. *hiss*

 And then, the last few seconds of the video, I saw this. It made me happy.

Britney may be a Democat after all.
But that dress looked like something Madonna wore back in the late 80s. Britney, did you raid your Auntie M's closet again? Srsly!

One last thing: did you notice the white bra Britney wore at the beginning of the video? It may be a reconstructed version of the sports bra she wore in "Baby One More Time." She needs to. That woman has two kids after all. She needs all the help she can get.

Now, although this post may sound catty (and I, el Gato Supremo, am a cat,) I love Britney from the bottom of my heart. Girlfriend still can move it move it like it was 1999 and I give her a lotta credit for that. Back then, there were Britney and Christina and many other pop singers. Now, there are still Britney and Christina. The others,  you don't know about them anymore, do you? That's how important Britney is. Christina is important, too, but her style is totally different now.

So yeah, this has been a long post and I love Britney. I don't hold it against her and I wish her the best.

Love, peace, and tuna fish,
Mr. Belly (aka Bel-Bel)

P.S: I miss la mamarazzi!
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